Addington’s Inutile Automatons

Today’s prompt inspired me to spit out a silly little story. I’m supposed to write about a robot that will relieve me of one task I really hate. It starts out that way, but then it just keeps going. So I guess I didn’t play by the rules. I hope you enjoy it all the same. Oh, and this is my first attempt at splitting a post into separate pages, so look for the numbers at the bottom. I’m not trying to be condescending, I just don’t know how that will look.

Addington’s Inutile Automatons

“Look what came in the mail for you. A catalog.”

“Haven’t even looked yet, Dad. ‘Addington’s Inutile Automatons’. What is this? A robot catalog?”

“Does inutile mean what I think it means?”

“Don’t know.”

“You’re supposed to have a vocabulary, Matt.”

“Yeah, look at the robots in here. Is this for real?”

“It came with a coupon. Apparently you get one for free.”

Bryce heard that. “A free robot? Like a remote control robot?”

“No, Bryce,” I said. “These look like they’re out of some science fiction movie. Good thing for the coupon. There’s no way I could afford something like this.”

“The prices aren’t even listed,” Dad said.

“Which one are you getting?,” Bryce asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll look at it later.”

“Oh come on, a free robot! How can you not look. Here, let me see. This one’s for keeping inventory. This one’s for book keeping.”

“Bryce, don’t look in the industrial section, if that’s what you’re in. Is there a section for home robots?”

“Right. This one is a chauffeur. This one does yard work. I’d like that one.”

“That’s the bane of the teenage years, little brother. Live with it.”

“Hrm. This one trains dogs. This one cooks. You need that one. This one cleans house.”

“Let me see that! It says, ‘Never lift a finger again. Model 321-C does dishes, dusting, vacuuming, even windows.’ Now we’re talking. My windows will be clean for the first time ever.”

“Windows?”

“And everything else, Bryce.”

“There’s got to be a better one than that.”

“Easy for you to say,” Dad told him, “you never even pick your socks up off the floor.” He looked at me. “You getting that one?”

“Says here that if I don’t like it, they’ll replace it with another. What can I lose?”

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

“They could have told me that I have to put it together. Thanks for the help, Dad.”

“No problem. You got me out of the house. Don’t tell Deonna I said so, but this beats watching ‘Hallways of the Heart 2’.”

Bryce said, “How can anyone complain about building a robot? This is the coolest thing ever.”

Dad pointed, “Hand me that wrench.”

“What wrench?”

“That wrench.”

“Wrench? There isn’t a wrench there.”

“That wrench! There! That wrench right next to your hand!”

“Dad, that’s a screwdriver.”

“You know what I mean!”

“No, I don’t. Here.”

Grumble, grumble. “There. That ought to do it. Let’s turn it on.”

The robot’s eyes flashed a few times. It made some funny noises, and then it began to move.

“I don’t believe it,” I said.

“Hello,” the robot said. “I am 322-C.”

“I ordered the 321.”

“I am an upgraded model. I will even sanitize the toilet brush when I am done with it.”

“Sounds good. Uh, things are kind of dirty in here right now. I don’t know how you–”

“When was the last time you vacuumed in here? I had better get started right away.”

“And away it goes,” Dad said.

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