Swami Rabbitima

Oh good, I get to change the zodiac. You’re tasked with creating a brand new astrological sign for the people born around your birthday — based solely on yourself. What would your new sign be, and how would you describe those who share it? Well this should be easy for someone who knows nothing about astrology. I considered looking up my astrological sign to find out what it’s supposed to represent. I wasn’t sure I remembered my sign. I think I’m a Scorpio, but I honestly can’t remember for sure.

It doesn’t matter though. I get to come up with my own symbol, just for me and the rest of you can just accept it. What symbol though? I wasn’t going to do this prompt, until I realized that I had a great answer. There’s already an extra astrological sign I can use. To quote the venerable Swami Rabbitima, “Round and round she goes! There’s a winner every time! Watch your numbers please. And it stops on Lobo, the sign of the Wolf.”

There we go. That’s my sign. A Lobo is a person who is proud typically to the point of arrogance, exhibited in their snarky humor and smartass answers. A Lobo has great dreams and plans for the future. Usually these are exactly that, dreams and plans without much substance. A person born under the sign of the Wolf is creative, intelligent, weird and eccentric. They tend to sit as far from established social groups as Ally Sheedy did in the Breakfast Club; the upside of this is that they don’t really care. Lobos have raging sweet tooths, bad posture and coffee addictions. Lobos are generally poor dressers, and they don’t shave often enough. This sign has the love of children. Youngsters will often have an immediate good impression of a Lobo, which is the result of an instinctive understanding that this person will never really grow up. Lobos have a practical side, given that they can fix problems they don’t understand, they respect vocabulary and they rarely get lost. This last is a trait that is not developed until their mid-twenties. On the other hand, Lobos are also impractical as they will tend to steer clear of modern technology like cell phones and GPS. Lobos love music, books and movies, but often have a taste for the obscure. All in all, a person born under the sign of the Wolf is happy and confident, God knows why.

Finally, a Lobo will enjoy taking the opportunity to indulge in inside jokes that require explanation. For example, a Lobo might write a brief, comical assessment of himself just to have the opportunity to use a zodiac symbol made up by Bugs Bunny in the cartoon ‘Bowery Bugs’.



  1. Thanks for a classy reference to Ally Sheedy in Breakfast Club. Epic film. I remember her making a sandwich out of sugar with such defiance. Definitely treading her own path 😉

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