The Crossover Club

I really don’t know how I got here, or where here is, but I’ve got to see the inside of this place. Just look at it. It’s like the building can’t decide what it is. Is it a saloon from the wild west? Is it a modern bar? Is it some seedy dive from a detective novel?

I’m not sure at all that I belong here. I feel almost unreal. I guess that’s because I’m standing in a room full of people who are all fictional. There’s Vincent Corleone sitting with Tony Soprano. Sitting at that table is Captain Kirk, Han Solo and Malcolm Reynolds. If I just stand still I wonder how much will just move past me. Here’s more Star Wars. That’s Obi-Wan, the way he looked in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Who is that other ghost he’s with though? I’ll have to eavesdrop as they walk past. “I’ve never heard of the Force, but I do know that there are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy.” Oh cool. I like this place.

There’s Butch and Sundance drinking with Harley and Marlboro. That’s Opus the penguin with the Great Gonzo and Cyrano De Bergerac. Hilarious. Why is Humphrey Bogart sitting with Humphrey Bogart though? Oh, I get it. That’s Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe.

Jesse Cardiff is playing a game of pool with Fast Eddie Felson. Huh, Paul Newman is also over there as Cool Hand Luke. That’s Andy Dufresne he’s with, so I guess that other one must be the Count of Monte Cristo. It just hit me that the music in the this place is being performed by two bands. That’s the Commitments playing with Love Handel.

There’s ‘Mulberry Field’ from Yojimbo with ‘Nameless’ from Hero. Oh, looks like some other people want to sit there too. I can’t immediately see which movie that Clint Eastwood character is, but the others are from Fight Club and the Layer Cake.

I guess they sort of gravitate to similar characters. That one’s kind of a stretch though. Don Quixote with Inspector Cluseau? That one makes more sense, Rufus T. Firefly with Hynkel from the Great Dictator. Ah, and it makes sense to see the Corinthian with Freddy Kruger. There’s a quartet of masquerading aliens over there, Mork, Dick Solomon, Starman and Fred the Martian.

This room is so strange. It’s like an optical illusion when you look around. I guess it has to be for the perspective. There in that corner is Galactus sharing a drink with Cthulhu. It’s really unappealing to see Galactus eating his appetizers there, but it’s nowhere near as bad what Cthulhu’s eating. Gross.

Apparently they’ll let kids in here. There’s Carmilla with Eli from Let the Right One in. There’s Harry Potter with Will Stanton. Why is a little girl sitting with Conan? Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have made eye contact with him. “We have your interest, little man?”

“Sorry. I guess I was just a bit surprised to see you with a child.”

Oh, I wish he didn’t have to stand up to talk. “This girl has the courage of a warrior. The world is her enemy. She has only questions and secrets to fight an ancient wisdom. But she is Caylee. There is no challenge she will not face. Even if she were to know her battle is doomed she would fight it to the end.”

“Right. I guess it does make sense. I’ll just move on now, thank you.”

Looks like they’re changing the music. I wonder who they’ll have to replace that other double act? “Put your hands together, folks! For the first time ever on one stage we have The Sultans of Swing with Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!”

Oh, this’ll be good. It’s almost silly to see John Blackthorne and Nathan Algren tapping their toes to this though. Othello and Virgil Tibbs also seem to be enjoying it. So are Isabel Archer and Ilsa Lund.

It looks like not everyone is welcome here. Jessica Atreides, Princess Leia, Red Sonja and Beatrix Kiddo are throwing out some girl with a bow and arrow. I guess she tried to sit at the wrong table. There sure are a lot of badass characters in this place. There’s Inigo Montoya with Amsterdam. Joe and Louie are sitting with Jules and Vincent along with Jeffers and Obecks. The guys at that table are only hard when they’ve been pushed too far. George McFly, Barry Egan and Droopy Dog.

It’s hard to stifle a laugh hearing Jacob McCandles and Snake Plissken talk to each other. “I heard you were dead,” Snake says. Of course Big Jake returns that with, “I heard you were dead too.”

I guess maybe I’d better leave before someone finds me out and throws me on the street. I’ll have to try to remember where this place is at. If it turns out that I’m really just a character in a story, then I’ll get to sit with Grady Tripp and Felix from the Owl and the Pussycat.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Pleased to Meet You.”

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