Answer List to the Video, ASMR : Lines from the Movies

This post will be of no use to anyone who hasn’t seen the video on my Youtube channel titled ASMR : Lines from the Movies. This is just a list of the movie lines that I recited for that video, but here the title of each movie is given. It’s intended to be an ASMR video (here’s a link to another post on this very blog that explains the term ASMR), so it’s all done in a soft spoken voice that is appropriate to ASMR, but not always to the lines below.

Oh, and if you have watched it, then you know that near the end you hear a group of people, off camera, interrupt me during line 83. Naturally, I did not have five people standing beside me waiting for their cue. I recorded those two words with the help of my family before I recorded the rest. It was funny though. “Can I get everyone’s help for about five minutes? Back here?” I had them all line up all together on side of the microphone and say “Too late,” all at once. Twice. Then they all quietly returned to the lives I had interrupted without a single one of them asking me what that was all about.

  1. The Shawshank Redemption : I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a man’s shoes?
  2. It’s a Wonderful Life : What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ marrying this two headed brother of mine?
  3. Rain Man : I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart Sucks.
  4. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid : Morons. I’ve got morons on my team!
  5. Aliens : I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
  6. On the Waterfront : I don’t like the country. The crickets make me nervous.
  7. The Sting : I’m the same as you. It’s two in the morning and I don’t know nobody.
  8. Casablanca : You played it for her, you can play it for me.
  9. The Princess Bride : You mean you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?
  10. Network : You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won’t have it!
  11. The Warriors : I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about man. How could this be a big meeting if the Orphans wasn’t there?
  12. Groundhog Day : I didn’t just survive a wreck. I wasn’t just blown up yesterday. I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted and burned.
  13. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man : Hey man, I’d rather be smashed than shot.
  14. Romancing the Stone : I’m the creep, huh? Well at least I’m honest. I’m stealing this stone. I’m not trying to romance it out from under her
  15. Back to the Future : Last night Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan, and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out, that he’d melt my brain.
  16. The Breakfast Club : Hey how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up! It’ll be anarchy!
  17. The Paper : Big scoop from the TV guys. Pinhead’s brother cancels trip.
  18. The Terminator : Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean, am I tough, organized? I can’t even balance my checkbook.
  19. Risky Business : I don’t believe this. I’ve got a trig midterm tomorrow and I’m being chased by Guido the killer pimp.
  20. The Maltese Falcon : When you’re slapped, you’ll take it and like it!
  21. The Guns of the Navarone : Now I can’t speak for the others, but I’ve never killed a woman before, traitor or not, and I’m finicky.
  22. Apocalypse Now : The smell, you know that gasoline smell. The whole hill smelled like… Victory.
  23. Pulp Fiction : Oh man! I shot Marvin in the face.
  24. Braveheart : In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
  25. Star Trek IV the Voyage Home : Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall I say, more colorful metaphors. Double dumbass on you, and so forth.
  26. Field of Dreams : That’s the sort of crap people are always trying to lay on me. It’s not my fault you wouldn’t play catch with your father
  27. Little Big Man : Sometimes the magic works. Sometimes it doesn’t.
  28. Swingers : I’ll have the pancakes in the age of enlightenment please.
  29. The Fisher King : They’re evil, Edwin. They’re repulsed by imperfection, horrified by the banal, everything that America stands for. Everything that you and I fight for!
  30. Quigley Down Under : This ain’t dodge city. And you ain’t bill Hickok.
  31. The Linguini Incident : You don’t just make out in a meat locker with someone you’re indifferent to.
  32. The Big Sleep : I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them long winter evenings
  33. It Happened One Night : I’ll stop a car, and I won’t use my thumb
  34. True Romance : I’m not eatin’ cause I’m not hungry. I’m not sittin cause I’m not stayin. I’m not lookin at the movie cause I saw it seven years ago. It’s the Mack with Max Julien, Carol Speed and Richard Pryor. I’m not scared a you. I just don’t like you
  35. Beauty and the Beast : It’s not right for a woman to read! Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.
  36. Tombstone : Already got a guilty conscience. Might as well have the money too.
  37. Waking Ned Devine : I’ve been usin’ some fruity soaps, Maggie.
  38. Predator : I ain’t got time to bleed.
  39. The Philadelphia Story : A little! And you a writer. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer
  40. Labyrinth : I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down. And I have done it all for you. I am exhausted from living up to your expectations.
  41. The Owl and the Pussycat : You know what, if I weren’t so refined I’d beat the crap outa ya!
  42. Victor Victoria : You were going to trade your virtue for a meatball.
  43. Tremors : You never plan ahead. You never take the long view. I mean, here it is Monday, and I’m already thinkin’ a Wednesday.
  44. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang : No, my question, I get to go first. Why in pluperfect hell, would you pee on a corpse!
  45. Big Trouble in Little China : And he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him! With light comin’ out of his mouth!
  46. American Beauty : I quit. So you don’t have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
  47. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen : Your reality, sir, is lies and Balderdash, and I’m delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!
  48. Dead Poets Society : Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
  49. Arthur : Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.
  50. The Four Seasons : Why does everyone think I’m paranoid? Do you discuss this behind my back?
  51. My Favorite Year : Of course he’s beneath us. He’s an actor.
  52. Die Hard : You asked for Miracles. I give you the F B I.
  53. El Dorado : Now if you start bein’ nice to me, I’ll quit you for sure. Shock’d be too much. I’d sooner have you hung over and nasty
  54. The Usual Suspects : I’m telling you, this guy is protected from up on high by the prince of darkness.
  55. Doctor Strangelove : Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.
  56. Crazy People : You did quite a bit of silent farting in the car, so you’re not perfect either.
  57. Chinatown : We’re in the middle of a drought and the water commissioner drowns. Only in L.A.
  58. O Brother Where Art Thou : Cows! I hate cows worse’n coppers!
  59. Tin Cup : And whatever you think of me, you should know that your boyfriend, he hates old people, he hates children and he hates dogs.
  60. The Player : I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we’ve got something here.
  61. The Neverending Story : Kind people find that they are cruel. Brave men discover that they are really cowards. Confronted with their true selves, most men run away screaming.
  62. Swimming With Sharks : Because life is not a movie. Everyone lies. Good guys lose. And love … does not conquer all.
  63. My Fair Lady : At a moment like this, with so much at stake, it’s utterly indecent that you don’t need a glass of port.
  64. The Godfather : I have a sentimental weakness for my children, and I spoil them, as you can see. They talk when they should listen
  65. Singin’ in the Rain : Short people have long faces. Long people have short faces. Big people have little humor and little people have no humor at all
  66. Reservoir Dogs : Tried it once; doesn’t work. Ya got four guys all fightin over who’s gonna be mister Black. And they don’t know each other, so nobody wants to back down
  67. Donovan’s Reef : Ah, Monk, you’re not gonna let three guys gang up one guy, even if it is Gilhooley.
  68. The Burbs : I’m only trying to take a nap. I’m only laying here, with my eyes closed, trying to get some god damn sleep.
  69. The Milagro Beanfield War : I wouldn’t even know what to arrest him for. Nobody even understands the water laws.
  70. As Good as it Gets : You make me want to be a better man
  71. Pretty Woman : I find this hard to say without sounding condescending, but I’m proud of you.
  72. To Catch a Thief : Sorry I ever sent her to that finishing school. I think they finished her there.
  73. The Wizard of Oz : Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?
  74. The Odd Couple : Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here, the things I know you’re gonna do when you come in irritate me.
  75. The Wind and the Lion : I had to kill the two or I could not trust the other two. A barbarous man would have killed them all.
  76. Fight Club :  Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
  77. A Fish Called Wanda : Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself. And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto, I looked ’em up.
  78. THX 1138 : If you feel you are not properly sedated, call 384-844 immediately. Failure to do so may result in prosecution for criminal drug evasion.
  79. The Cowboys : Yeah. Thirty years older’n you are. Had my back broke once, an’ my hip twice. And on my worst day, I could beat the hell outa you.
  80. Lethal Weapon : Now we question him. You know why we question him? Cause I got him in the leg. I didn’t shoot him fulla holes, or try to jump off a building with him. (I got this one slightly wrong in the video.)
  81. Arsenic and Old Lace : You can not count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia!
  82. Annie Hall : Darling, I’ve been killing spiders since I was thirty, okay?
  83. Clue : And to make a long story short. Too Late!
  84. Ghostbusters : Let’s show this prehistoric Bitch how we do things downtown
  85. Bull Durham : I’m not interested in a woman who’s interested … in that boy
  86. The Empire Strikes Back : Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter.
  87. Starman : Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.
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